Unwilling Recruitee
by Doppler Effect
Summary: The White Council sends two Wardens to recruit someone they've already tried to recruit. Despite the warnings they were given, they weren't ready for Gibbs. T for language and White Court mention.


a/n: I just thought of this one day. Ever notice how Gibbs is terrible with technology, and how almost nobody seems able to hold his gaze?

* * *

><p>It didn't even pretend to be just another day in the office from the get-go. "Anyone find anything on that Lance Corporal?" Gibbs asked that morning, walking into the bullpen. The other three looked up, surprised. Why was he ignoring…?<p>

"Erm, well, he disappeared about five days ago…" Dinozzo glanced at the other person in the bullpen. The one he'd never seen before, but was sure was about to be in a lot of trouble.

"And?" Gibbs prompted.

"From there, he's made at least five stops at some gas stations. That's all we could find. One every day," McGee continued. "Do you want us to-?"

"Before this launches into a full investigation, I think I can give an explanation." The person who had stolen Gibb's chair didn't move from his lax position while he spoke. He gave a charming smile to all in the bullpen, and didn't seem to notice the glare Gibbs sent him.

"Care to share?"

"After we talk about something really quic-"

"No. What happened to the Lance Corporal?"

"Look," the man sighed, "the Council wants to know if you'd be willing to become a War-"

"Nope."

"If a spot opens, they're even willing to let you become an El-"

"What about 'no' do they not understand?" Gibbs asked irritably. "Leave. My answer remains the same."

"Well, can you tell that to Morgan? He came along."

Gibbs rolled his eyes, and turned to face the long haired person who'd come up behind him. "Let me make this simple. Take Ramirez and leave."

"What am I, a dog?" Ramirez asked in protest from Gibbs's desk.

Morgan and Gibbs continued in their stare-down, both ignoring Ramirez easily. "The Council really wants you on board with them," Morgan said, not breaking contact. If one looked close enough, they'd notice that neither was staring right into the other's eyes. "They sent two of us, even though this is a one person job."

"I can count, thank you. Shouldn't you be leaving?"

"A problem, Gibbs?" Vance asked, appearing beside him. Morgan continued glaring at both of them.

"Do you guys have any popcorn?" Ramirez whispered loudly to McGee, who gave him a baffled look.

"Should we get some?" Dinozzo whispered loudly back. Ramirez gave an energetic grin and a nod. Two glares were fired at him, but Ramirez looked unperturbed.

"For the record, I knew this wasn't going to work!" Ramirez raised both hands in a surrender signal. Gibbs went back to ignoring him, as did Vance and Morgan.

"It's only a problem if they don't leave. Now." Gibbs continued as if the one occupying his desk had never spoken.

"I'm actually surprised you took up a job like this." Morgan nudged Ziva's desk with his foot. She gave him a look that said if he did that again he would be in the hospital. In a coma. With a missing limb. Or two. Or four. "You have a lot of potential."

"Do I look like I care?" Gibbs shot back. "Besides, I have more fun shooting people and putting them behind bars."

"We do the same as Wardens," Morgan reasoned.

Gibbs snorted. "Yeah. Sure. You just skip the whole 'imprisoning' part of things, and just take their heads off. No, I like this job a lot better."

"Hold on. What's a Warden?" Vance asked, interrupting the flow of the conversation.

"This is why we wanted to take it somewhere more private. If you please…" Morgan motioned towards the elevator.

"If it gets you gone faster, I'm staying right where I am." Gibbs crossed his arms. "What about 'leave' do you guys not understand? Do I need to get you a dictionary?"

Morgan gave in slightly. "Fine. You want the truth? The Council wants you before Mab gets to you."

Dinozzo let out a bark of laughter. "_Mab_? Jeez, are you guys a circus?"

"No," the three in the room who knew what the conversation was even about said simultaneously.

"But, I mean, Mab! The faerie? Queen of Air and Darkness? She's… well, fictional. M-"

"Don't!" the same trio shouted at him. The last thing they wanted was that person standing in the office. As all three yelled, the television that had been on sparked, and blew out. So did the computers, and most of their phones.

Gibbs gave an irritable sigh. "McGee just fixed all of those! Leave before you destroy anything else!"

"Oh, if we wanted something destroyed, we should've brought Dresden," Ramirez said. "He's been doing a lot of that recently. He's the reason she hasn't come after you yet."

Gibbs gave another snort. "She's going after _him_? From what I've heard of that kid, I'd almost feel sorry for her if she managed to change him. He might take over the damn Winter side of things."

"I'd pay to see that!" Ramirez crowed. "That would be hilarious! What have you heard of Harry, just curious?"

"Well, that missing dinosaur for one thing. Heard that was his fault," Gibbs said, ticking a finger off. "Not to mention the war you all are in now, but he also pissed off the Whites and then somehow managed to not get slaughtered by all of them. He's been solving cases as a PI under an… interesting description. Damn good with making stuff go 'boom'. He got a Foo dog, somehow. And he got a girlfriend who took out a plant monster with a chainsaw."

Ramirez let out a bark of laughter. "Murphy? His girlfriend? Oh God, she's worse than he is! She's like… like… the equivalent of you, to the Chicago SI!"

Quietly, McGee started trying to reboot all the computers and the TV. Their phones were a lost cause.

Gibbs shrugged. "Close enough. Now, since we've observed that Dresden's got the Queen occupied, can you depart from the premises?"

"That you managed to sneak a sword into!" Ziva pointed out incredulously, drawing attention to the sword that Morgan was carrying.

"What possessed you to bring a sword into a governmental building?" Gibbs sighed. "And were the metal detectors a temporary thing, or are we going to have to replace them also?"

"I don't know," Ramirez said. "They looked pretty fried to me."

"Do you even realize how many laws you've broken by now?" Vance asked. He could think of several, since neither of them had passes, both had participated in the breaking of property, and they were both armed. He bet there were more that he hadn't even thought of yet. Harrassment, maybe. Waste of time probably wouldn't cut it, but they could try.

"Probably not." Ramirez shrugged. "Either way, Morgan, I think we're done here."

Morgan shot him a glare, but nodded.

"Wait a second," McGee exclaimed from his computer that he'd managed to get working, "it says that Harry Dresden of Chicago is a wizard!" He looked around at the three. "Is it… well, I mean, you mentioned the one woman…"

"Of course not, McGeek, I mean, I mean…" Dinozzo trailed off, laughing nervously. Ziva chose not to comment, having been watching most of the conversation through narrowed and suspicious eyes.

Gibbs didn't answer. Morgan ignored both of Gibbs's underlings. Ramirez smirked.

"Well!" Ramirez clapped his hands together, rubbed them, and stood. "I think we've outstayed our welcome…"

"What welcome?" Gibbs asked, impatiently waiting for the two to leave.

Ramirez shrugged. "Point of interest there." He muttered something, and waved his hand. The mouths of everyone in the bullpen but of Gibbs and Morgan and Ramirez dropped. Ramirez waved his hand again, this time in farewell, at the others, and hopped through the portal. He vanished. Morgan rolled his eyes, but followed.

The portal closed.

"Uh… Uh… Boss?" Dinozzo squeaked.

"Gibbs…" The warning note in Vance's voice was clear.

"What was that?" McGee asked nervously.

"Were those men really wizards?" Ziva demanded.

Gibbs turned to the TV. "McGee, get this damn thing working again."

"Uh, on it, Boss."

**Half an hour later**

Dresden peeked over one edge of the bullpen, somehow managing to peek despite his height. "Uh, Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs looked up, saw the pentacle, and snapped. "Get the hell out of here! I've had enough of you White Council today!"

"I'm gone! I'm gone!" Dresden raised both hands. "Woah, Nelly! Sorry, just wanted to see if Morgan and Ramirez stopped by. Luccio wanted me to call them back, but apparently they're already gone… Did they say which Way they took?" the soft baritone asked.

"Nope. Don't care, as long as you follow them."

"Wait, you're saying I can use a Way in here?" Dresden looked around at the other people in the office.

"They've already seen it. Leaving?"

"Yup. Mouse!" The dog he'd somehow managed to smuggle into the building (the security guys were still busy with the machines) wagged his tale at his name. Mouse? What kind of name was that for a dinosaur? Were they sure that the zombie dinosaur had gone back to its grave? Maybe this was its offpsring. Dresden started to make a complex motion with his hand before Gibbs stopped him.

"Dresden?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, just seeing if you were him. Ramirez had high praise for you."

"I don't suppose Morgan-"

"If you were praised by Morgan, I think that would mean I would be bowing to you."

"Good point." Dresden opened another portal. "But speaking of Ramirez, he wanted me to tell you that your Lance Corporal isn't going to be returning to the... um... conscious, anytime soon. The White Court got a hold of him. Uh, literally." Dresden and Gibbs both winced slightly. Dresden took a deep breath, and looked down at his dog. "Okay, come on Toto!" Mouse gave a small sound of complaint at the name. "Off to the White Council! _We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz_…" his voice disappeared as he vanished through the portal. Then he popped his head back in. "I don't think any other wizards will be coming by, either. Just so you know."

"Yup. Good luck with Mab, by the way."

"Going to need it!"

"Yeah, you will. Oh, and Dresden?"

"Uh huh?"

Gibbs gave the almost childish wizard a blank look. "Did you really charge through Chicago while riding a zombie dinosaur with a coroner in the back playing a polka instrument?"

Dresden grinned. Gibbs let out a laugh, and the other wizard disappeared again from the NCIS building, this time for good.

The other three in the bullpen made the wise decision not to comment.

A minute passed, and then Gibbs tried to use his phone. Two seconds later, and he slammed it down, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "Damn wizards!"


End file.
